Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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