I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
