I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
