I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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