Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
