Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
