I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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