I didn't shave. On purpose
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
