Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
