I hope mine doesn't look like that
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
