i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
