Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
this hospital has no fireball
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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