I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
