Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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