So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
