Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
