Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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