Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
