It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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