You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Couch. On fire.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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