she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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