My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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