I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
