just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
