so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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