her vagine was all disorganized.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
