If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
