I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
