I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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