we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
