I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
