I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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