just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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