What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
A bitchslap is in order.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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