Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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