i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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