What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
