I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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