i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
