Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
