Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize