But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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