Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
