Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
