So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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