Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
