I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
do nipples grow back?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize