so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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