Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Terrible idea I love it
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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