I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
kristin has been a bad kristin
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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