I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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