I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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