i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
