the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize