why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
