Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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