Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize