I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
