I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
