I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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