it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
