then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize