My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
