he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
