Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
