Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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